I have been a psychologist for nearly 40 years. I was thinking the other day about what the most common problems are that human beings face. Low self-esteem is one--very common to be self critical.  Being SELF EVALUATIVE is usually a good thing if not overdone but being SELF CRITICAL is tantamount to beating yourself up.  I think that is a bad idea.

I do wish more of us would expect something of ourselves...I wish we would blame others less and accept personal responsibility for the next big important step in our lives AND THEN TAKE IT.  But we tend to excuse ourselves and blame others for our personal predicaments.  I recommend that you give up doing that as it does not help you progress.  Some people prefer blaming and punishing others rather than progressing and growing. 

Forgiveness is another commonly hard thing to do.  We think if we forgive someone that we are saying "what they did to me or how they hurt me is ok now..or that it does not matter that they hurt you"....  No, that is not what forgiveness means.  Forgiveness means we finally realize that WE DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON TO JUDGE THEM FAIRLY.  And who does know them that well?  God does so that is why he says He will judge justly and it is required of "ALL MEN" to find away to forgive.  Also forgiving takes  A HUGE BURDEN OFF YOUR SHOULDERS as you do not have to carry the anger, resentment and pain around anymore.

Here are some interesting teachings on forgiveness from Spencer W. Kimball (former president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who passed away in the mid 80's).....

" A common error is the idea that the offender must apologize and humble himself to the dust before forgiveness is required.  Certainly, the one who does the injury should totally make his adjustment, but as for the offended one, he must forgive the offender regardless of the attitude of the other.  Sometimes men get satisfactions from seeing the other party on his knees and groveling in the dust, but that is not the gospel way....
If there be misunderstandings, clear them up, forgive and forget, don't let old grievances change your souls and affect them, and destroy your love and lives.  Put your houses in order. Love one another and love your neighbors, your friends, the people who live near you, as the Lord gives this power to you."
TEACHINGS OF PRESIDENTS OF THE CHURCH: SPENCER W. KIMBALL (2006) p. 91

My "psychological thought" on all this is that when we forgive we take a huge burden off our own backs and put it down. We walk more lightly and further without emotional exhaustion. The responsibility of the offender for what happened to you is a separate matter. He/she will have to deal with the offense they committed in some way at some point in time.  That is their burden; not yours. Let them work it out in their own way. If they do not, then there is a price they will pay...but that should not have much to do with how you handle the offense that you have suffered.  Do not increase the pain and power of the offense by HANGING ON TO IT...LET IT GO....you will feel a sense of release and relief.

Jim