OK---I gave you a little time to answer the question WHAT DOES THE WORLD/OUR NATION NEED MOST RIGHT NOW?

I also shared some ideas on that question but now I will tell you what I really think will make the biggest difference RIGHT NOW.  This is something YOU can do RIGHT NOW. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT.

This won't surprise you but maybe the accompanying challenge will help you take a step forward.

ROUGHLY HALF OF OUR US MARRIAGES FAIL AND A HIGHER PERCENTAGE OF SECOND MARRIAGES FAIL AS COMPARED WITH FIRST MARRIAGES (generally due to the complex matter of dealing with blended families).  What our world needs desperately is stronger marriages and stronger families and this takes focus and work.

GOOGLE THIS QUESTION "What are the major characteristics of children of divorce?" To study the answer to that question can be very motivating in deciding to strengthen your marriage and your family.  I realize marriages often fail for very complex reasons .  My interest here is not blame. My interest here is to help husbands/wives/parents/children understand WHY marriages typically fail.  If we study this question (you can google a ton of information on this anytime) and have the courage to ASK OURSELVES "Given the typical reasons why marriages fail---what do I NEED TO DO (not what does my spouse need to do--that is a totally separate question) to strengthen my marriage and/or my family?

I like the number 3.  It works with all kinds of questions.  Example:  What are MY 3 greatest weaknesses in my marriage? What are my 3 greatest strengths in MY marriage?  If BOTH of you are willing to answer those questions and share your answers with your husband or wife I am almost sure  you will both learn something.  THEN COMES THE CRUCIAL QUESTION----based on the answers to those two questions WHAT IS MY NEXT STEP? Your choice of the next step must be unilaterally your choice.  If you make doing it contingent on whether or not your husband or wife does his or hers--won't work nearly as well.

OK--so if you want to see courage in action I, JAMES D MACARTHUR, WILL ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS HERE AND NOW AND WILL THEN TELL YOU WHAT MY NEXT STEP WILL BE.  And remember that I have been married for 45 years.

My three weaknesses in MY marriage.  (You can't believe I am actually doing this publicly, can you?)

1. My own mental health is a big factor.  I have been somewhat depressed and filled with anxiety as long as I can remember.  I do not blame anyone for my condition but I feel semi defeated by this situation quite often.
2. Too often I am more concerned with ME than with her.  I want my needs met first.  Sometimes when I think I am not being self centered--I actually am but I am denying it.
3. I am kind of impatient. Not as bad as I used to be but it still is a barrier that blocks my pathway to becoming how I REALLY want to be.

My three strengths in my marriage.

1.  My values are crystal clear to me.  I know what is most important to me...my religion and my family are at the top of the list.  I try to make every major decisions a FAMILY DECISION...meaning that if I go down road A, B, or C  WHICH will have the most positive impact on my wife and family?
2. I try to fight against my negative self and set a good example.  I struggle to win my own personal battles within myself much more than anyone else realizes.  I am quite aware when I lose.  I am aware of how my "losing" affects the people I love most.
3. I try to have a positive impact on others as often as I can. I try to think about how I affect others--whether it be in the grocery store, at church, at home, when I am alone.  It is interesting to note that how we are privately (when alone) can have a huge impact on our marriage and our family.

WHAT IS MY NEXT STEP?  I need to get more feedback from those who know me to see whether I am going in a profitable direction or not.  I need to have the courage to ask for help when I need it.  I am 68 years old but I must not let my own ego needs get in the way of making needed changes so my wife and family are benefitted.  This will require that I be more open and honest with others and myself. It requires humility.

OK....that is a quick demo on how the two "3 questions" open up self understanding that may be crucial for you and your family.  And THE NEXT STEP is immensely crucial.  It means you have learned and understood and you are going to DO something rather than just sit and think.  Keep asking for feedback in humility.

So if I strengthen myself then I have more to offer to my wife and children and now grandchildren.  That is what I want.  Have a nice day.

WHAT YOU CONSCIOUSLY BUILD WITHIN YOURSELF MAY BE THE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT YOU CAN GIVE AS IT IS A GIFT THAT GOES FAR BEYOND DEC. 25.