I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving with your family and friends and that the Christmas holidays bring some time for relaxing, pondering, being with family and friends, and serving others.

I have been a psychologist for some 35 years and it is very clear to me that those who serve others are mentally healthier because all the focus is not on them and they are much less apt to become self-centered and overly self-concerned.

During the Thanksgiving weekend I came across several thoughts that each taught me something and helped me do some healthy introspection.

Here they are:

ONE DAY YOU'LL BE JUST A MEMORY FOR SOME PEOPLE.  DO YOUR BEST TO BE A GOOD ONE.
(I remember when I was a bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the late 80's... often when I went to the hospital to visit sick church members or to their homes to comfort or assist them in some way...I would quite often take some of my children with me.  First, I wanted them to remember me (when I am "just a memory") as having placed a high value on serving others.  And next, I knew they too would be much happier if they were more SELFLESS than selfish.  Now that they are all adults themselves many of them have remarked that they remember going with me to visit people who needed extra help.

I wrote in an earlier posting that THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS HAPPEN IN THE FAMILY (OR IN THE HOME)....I do believe that the greatest school on earth is the home and the parents are the teachers and mentors.  At least, they should be.  So the parent who carries into the home a certain negativity, criticalness, or mean spirit...one who argues and brings out the worst in other family members...does great harm in the most important school in the world....the family. Avoid being such a harmful influence in your home and family.
For that reason I like this next thought-----
IMPROVE YOUR ARGUMENT, RATHER THAN RAISE YOUR VOICE. IT IS THE RAIN THAT MAKES THE FLOWERS GROW, NOT THE THUNDER.

Finally, my suggestion on an early Christmas gift that you can give in your family and among friends and others around you is the gift of COURTESY and THOUGHTFULNESS.  It seems to me that people are less courteous and thoughtful of others today than when I was growing up in the late 40's, 50's and 60's.  In any event, I would like to suggest an experiment.  Spend ONE DAY emphasizing courtesy much more than you usually do.  Say "thank you and please" more often.  Get a little more outside yourself and do thoughtful things for those in your family or for co-workers and friends.  Here are a couple of real life examples my adult children have shown me recently:  One son was watching his sister-in-law caring for another sister-in-law's new baby.  She seemed a little tired so my son (age 41) got up and went over to take the baby observing.... "you look like you need someone to help you with that little one..."  It was a very thoughtful thing to do.  Another daughter, who had to be at work every morning at 8:30 am found that her supervisor had to open up the business and prepare things every morning at 5:30 am.  So our daughter told her she would come every morning and help her get ready for the day...no need for extra pay...she expressed that "she just wanted to help out."

Once a week send a note of gratitude to someone to express your thankfulness for something they did for you...even if it was long ago.  Sometimes it is best to sign your name and other times it may be best to be anonymous.  Well, COURTESY and THOUGHTFULNESS are key words that help us remember that, at times, the world is a tough place to live in and anything any of us can do to lift the spirits of others....is a gift of the heart.

Jimbomac   aka "Grandpa Sparky"   aka Jim MacArthur