I have been on vacation in Arizona,

ACTUAL VALUES AND IDEAL VALUES

What is the difference between actual and ideal values?

If someone followed you around for a week and just observed what you do, how you spend your time, activities you are involved in, books you read, what you do for leisure, what you do when no one else is around and a bunch of other things you regularly do.......AND THEN YOU ASKED THEM "BASED ON WHAT YOU HAVE OBSERVED.....WHAT ARE MY ACTUAL VALUES ?(actual values are those we ACTUALLY have based upon evidence...evidence being what we choose to do, think etc.)  Ask someone who knows you well to write down what he/she thinks are your top 5 actual values and compare them with your own list.

Then WRITE DOWN A LIST OF YOUR TOP IDEAL VALUES.  What is an ideal value? It is a value we would like to have in our lives.  Maybe that value is on your actual list as well...but maybe not.  Are all values "positive values"?  No.  Sometimes we value things that are not very good for us or others.  Sometimes we value things that are harmful to us.  Those are also called "negative values."

Possible example:

ACTUAL VALUES OF PERSON X

You have asked someone to observe you carefully for a week and then write down your top five or ten values AS THEY HAVE OBSERVED THEM. You should ask them to try to list them in priority order...their best guess based on what they saw.

1, Having fun
2. Staying physically fit
3. Living a good moral life
4. Avoiding responsibility
5. Showing love for the members of my family

BUT you wrote THESE down as  your ideal values! IDEAL VALUES OF PERSON X (as he/she ideally want them to be in priority order.)

1. Progressing in my career
2. Spending time with my family
3. Finding ways to make the world a better place---especially in my own community
4. Staying physically fit
5. Living a good moral life

Some are on one list but not the other and some are on both lists but are in different priority order.
Interesting?  VALUES SHOULD BE THE BASIS FOR OUR DECISIONS.  I want to make decisions based on my values (ideal)...but what happens if I make decisions based upon my ACTUAL values  and those values are NOT where I want them to be?

LESSON:  If we are going to base our life choices and decisions on our ideal values then we need to do all we can to make our ideal values and actual values as similar as possible.  It is not easy to do but the closer we can get the actual values to the ideal values....the more we will like how our choices and decisions turn out.  At least that is what I think..... Jim