Today I will teach you about what is called THE LINE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and how it can be used.  This can be a transforming idea. I have used it personally and in my professional work as well.

Each of us follows a course in our lives that is often known as a personal life journey.  In the first part (called childhood and into adolescence) many EXTERNAL factors and experiences influence what we become as a person and how we perceive ourselves.  During that initial period of time in life we are quite vulnerable.  We hope we will be treated and taught well...so that our development as a human being/person is relatively "normal" (I am never totally sure what normal is!).....We tend to BELIEVE what people tell us about ourselves in our earlier years...that makes sense as we are not very capable of responding to what we are told about ourselves or the "messages" we get by how we are treated.  This does not mean that what might happen to us in the earlier stages of life is always negative..quite often it is very positive and healthy. So we grow up to be emotionally healthy people if that is our childhood/teen experience.  Outside the family forces can also lead us to good or poor mental health.  Nevertheless,  during those formative years we are heavily influenced by OTHERS and OUTSIDE EXPERIENCES.

But here comes the lesson for the day....for me this was extremely LIFE CHANGING.

Having gone through a difficult childhood and also many challenges in my teen years....I felt a bit sorry for  myself...and I wondered WHY did all this negative stuff happen to ME?  It really impacted me in quite a negative counter-developmental way.  I wondered if I could ever "get over it".  I am a psychologist so I have given many talks and presentations on how any given individual develops over a lifetime and what helps or hinders solid good human development.

One day I was writing a talk that was going to be on BYU Television (which goes all over the world) so I REALLY WANTED THIS ONE TO BE GOOD AND TO CONTAIN SOME REAL HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS SO MANY COULD BENEFIT FROM IT.  It was called Being the TRANSITIONAL PERSON is a dysfunctional family.  The person who breaks the chain of unhealthy living and helps the current and future generations live differently and better.

I was writing the talk and drew a timeline.........beginning at birth/childhood/adolescence/ young adult/adult/ later years as an adult and then senior status.  I "walked" myself through my earlier years, thinking about them.....and how they troubled me.  SUDDENLY it hit me LIKE A BRICK ON MY HEAD.........and this is the big truth I want to share with you........THERE WAS A CERTAIN POINT IN MY ADULT LIFE WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY DECIDED TO DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND OF MY LIFE....I DECIDED TO CALL IT THE LINE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.  That simply means it is the point in time (in your own life) when you accept FULL AND COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ARE.  It will always be true that my early formative years occurred under the hands of some people who harmed me and influenced my mental/overall human development in a very negative way.  I became depressed...highly anxious and insecure.  I lived a life of fear...afraid of what was coming next to possibly harm me.  I do not recall exactly the age when this happened but it SUDDENLY HIT ME  "Jim, now is the time for you to 100% take over responsibility for yourself." Nor more blaming of someone else for how I was/am....no more excuses...no more feeling like a victim of the actions of others...no more self pity.
I was now old enough and mature enough to take over full and total responsibility for how my life was going to be from that point on. What personal characteristics did I want to exhibit?  What skills did I want to develop?  What values did I want to have?  What personal beliefs did I want to have guide my life, what kinds of decisions did I want to make?  What was I going to think of myself?  Wax the rest of my life going to be "about me" or could I turn the direction of it so that it became more "about others/service/ helping/teaching...sharing...strengthening others....mentoring...guiding..."

IT WAS, AT THAT POINT, MY DECISION TO DRAW THE LINE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IN THE SAND OF MY LIFE AND REALIZE THAT WHATEVER I BECAME OR DID FROM THAT POINT ON WAS ALL MINE.  The good and the not so good....all mine (speaking of personal responsibility)....Of course many people would continue to help me and bless my life...including God.  But, THE BOTTOM LINE was that I JAMES DAVID MACARTHUR was NOT going to blame others and then excuse myself..or expect less of myself....or be too self preoccupied (self focused) anymore.....my life them was...I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR WHERE I GO FROM HERE AND MY "PREVIOUS LIFE" WAS NOT GOING TO HOLD MY FUTURE LIFE HOSTAGE ANYMORE.
It was so FREEING to think that way.  Now, in fact I was still affected by my difficult childhood and teen experiences..but now I was going to face them, deal with them, work with them step by step and get better, healthier....more mature and stronger.  Yep, that was/is what I intended to do.

I was the captain of my own ship...speaking of personal responsibility for my life.

I set goals, made plans, made decisions....got more education...learned new skills....forgave, stopped feeling so sorry for myself....patted myself on the back when I needed it...and moved on realizing that I was going to now take full responsibility for "things"  and stop the POOR ME'S...
It is much better this way....it is actually kind of fun and inspiring to head down this new path...at least it was/is for me.

If it rains in your life..... instead of shaking your fist at the dark rainclouds and cursing the rain that is getting you wet....get out your umbrella, put on your rain boots and keep walking, learning, serving, improving.....and you might get a little wet but it won't matter too much....there are too many other good things happening a long the path you are traveling to worry too much about the rain.

So, if you need to draw a line.....and accept more responsibility for yourself and where you go in life from here...then do not wait one more minute...DRAW THE LINE...MOVE AHEAD...and help others to do the same.  We will all travel together and help each other keep going.....I hope this idea makes some sense to you...it CERTAINLY has been awesome for me. Jim