Hi.  How are you doing?  More stuff coming up on Sparky's Learning Korner..here goes...

I once wrote a book on families.  When it was published by Deseret Book Company I was very surprised as my best talent is NOT writing. I use too many words (like I do when speaking!!) But there is no more important topic than family and what occurs in the family.

Since writing my book which was published I think in 2004...I have continued to study the family through reading, observing and pondering.  When I was in Chile for three years I made many presentations on healthy families. I thought I would share a few of those ideas with whoever reads my blog.  This is not intended to be "complete" but rather "thought provoking".  When I write in my blog I am not trying to SETTLE THE ISSUE...I am just offering some hopefully stimulating ideas that cause you to think and perhaps even DO something!!

Few families are what we call PROACTIVE FAMILIES.  What does proactive mean in family life?  It is based in an extremely important fundamental concept in strengthening families--namely that stronger families DO NOT JUST HAPPEN COINCIDENTALLY.
I love the idea of INTENTIONAL PARENTING.  That means that each parent regularly answers this question:  "What will I do tomorrow differently as a parent in this family so that I can make a difference in the condition of my family and the progress of each member of the family?"
When I spoke about his in Chile everyone loved the idea..until I hit them with the follow up question when I saw them later:  "What did you ACTUALLY DO with the things you learned?"

We like what we hear in various presentations in our careers, families, educational pursuits, personal improvement talks and so on...but THE BIG QUESTION is always...WHAT WILL I DO NOW? WHAT IS MY NEXT STEP?

I always recommend tracking what you proactively intend to do, along with your accomplishments, in a journal kept just for the purpose of tracking your growth and/or the growth of your family according to your proactive planning.

FAMILY PLANNING CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE MEANING!!  I want to change certain things in my parenting or our family life...so I will create a specific plan on what I intend to change and how I will attempt to do it...and I will write something in my family planning journal every day about what I did or did not do.

Here are a few specific ideas............

You can come up with the specifics but there are certain questions I encourage parents to ask themselves regularly so that planning for the progress of the family happens continuously. I will give them to you and then you can pick which ones you want to work on first (if any)...and parents who team up usually are more effective. Some of you are single parents and these questions work great for two parents or one....the crucial thing is to pick one or two and ACT.

1.  What is the ATMOSPHERE like in our home and family?  What changes are needed?  Or how do we strengthen the good things already happening?
2.  What are RELATIONSHIPS like in our family?  Husband/wife....child to child...parent to child?
Which relationship needs top priority attention and what is the next step?
3. What is family ORGANIZATION like?  The organized functioning of the family does not need to be like a highly successful business...but the basic functioning of the family is greatly influenced by how organized a family is so that the needs of all family members are addressed.  Do you plan, at the outset of the week, for the major events of the upcoming week?  Do you coordinate with each other?  Is the home itself sufficiently organized so that the atmosphere of the home is peaceful and functional?  Does each child have a contributing responsibility?  Each child must feel this is their family too and they want to help it function as it should. Some degree of order in the family is very important.
4. What is the SELF ESTEEM of each family member like? How do you know? What is the next step in helping those who need help?
5. Parents are TEACHERS.  Probably no more crucial role for a parent that to be a teacher in the family. Remember you teach by precept and example.  With WORD and ACTION.  Your example teaches loudly. Any changes needed there?  If you use one night a week for a short family meeting you can have a treat and teach your family something you feel is very important towards their progress.  Good parenting is good teaching.
6. BIG QUESTION........ WHAT IS THE MOST CRUCIAL AND SIGNIFICANT NEED RIGHT NOW AS WE THINK OF THE PROGRESS OF OUR FAMILY?  Identify it and work on it.

PLEASE DO THIS REGULARLY. You can address any of these questions more than once...actually  you should address them many times over as your family progresses.  Ask your children for feedback on the goals and plans of the family as they need to be in on it.  They have a responsibility for helping the family grow, progress and find family happiness.

Well, there is much more but those are a few ideas that might help you take some action to improve your family..unless you have a perfect family that is.. If you do have such a family please right to me and tell me how you did it!!!!!!!!!!  :)  Jim