What are the building blocks of life?  DECISIONS.  Each major decision (or even "medium ones") is like a brick in the wall of life.  The strength of the wall lies in the material from which the "bricks" are made.  Each brick in our personal life wall is a major or medium decision. Let me explain...

So HOW we make decisions is extremely important--regardless of our age.

I taught a course at Brigham Young University (which I wrote) called LIFE PLANNING AND DECISION MAKING.  I taught it for about 35 years.

One of the most helpful and powerful ideas related to decision making that we talked about in the class was: THE BEST DECISIONS ARE BASED IN OUR WELL THOUGHT OUT PERSONAL VALUES.

So,  good DECISIONS are NOT made independent of other things. Definitely they should not be made independent of our most dearly held personal values. What is a personal value?  It is a statement of what is important to me. I have thought about it very carefully....what do I care about most? What do I want to focus on in my life?  These are my PERSONAL VALUES.  When I come face to face with an important decision, my first question is always "which of my values will guide me in making this decision?"

Example:  Here is a decision that most of us can identify with----150 to 200 years ago families lived in often rural settings often based in agricultural pursuits.  The family members were together a lot and they built their houses together, worked in their fields together, grew their food together...they were together on the "homestead" together most of the time.  They ate together, played together, read books and possibly the Bible together.
In the next couple of generations the fathers began to work more in the cities--reducing the parental guidance at home.  Closer to our generation 60's on to now...the mothers also went into the workforce outside the home. Who was left at home?  The children.  Now the family is together less and less. And I think we have paid a price for that.  Few things are more important than casual conversations between parents and children on a long list of topics.  But if the parents are gone--and the kids are involved in numerous activities.....then the nuclear family is not together much at all anymore. I will ask you to think about and talk together about how your family experience has been if you are almost always apart from each other.  Or maybe you have seen other families like that.

What is my point?  That is an example of how MAJOR DECISIONS have changed the basic nature and functioning of our families.  How do VALUES play into this?  Well, way back at the beginning of this change in the American family should we have stopped to ask ourselves what we valued most as we considered CHANGING the family and how it functioned?  If our primary central value had been the well being of the family; keeping us close to each other so we could talk, share, problem solve, encourage, support, strengthen each other....then would some of the subsequent decisions that scattered us have been different?
Regardless of what you think of my example I hope you can see that within any family, within any relationship, within any business, any church, any community.....as we decide about changes we will make or changes we REFUSE to make....are we thinking of our most dearly held personal/family/community values so they can guide us in our decision making?  I hope so.

Recently there has been a lot of talk and research done on the importance of families eating at least one meal together each day..sitting at the same table...not rushing....eating together which permits talking, sharing, laughing, helping to happen.  It creates a place for it in the family.  We are often so busy that everyone is out of the home most of the time--and the FAMILY is something that exists on paper only.
If we are unhappy with how our family is functioning, or how our marriage is functioning, or how our business, or personal lives are functioning...WHAT VALUES DO WE HAVE OR CAN WE NEWLY COMMIT TO that will guide us making important and much needed new decisions?  The decisions must be based in carefully thought out and committed to personal and family values.

Some parents make financial decisions and sacrifices to send their daughters and sons to college for advanced educations.  That is a decision. Based in what value?  Well, your money can go one place or another.  You have to DECIDE.  And  you  may VALUE helping your children gain education so they can have more choices in life.  That is your value....and because you possess it---you are able to decide to help your children on the educational track.

In family councils (which I hope you hold regularly to work together as a family) you may be talking about how much you value ORDER and PLANNING in your family. You value those things because you believe they lead to the family outcomes you VALUE most.  You VALUE order and planning.  So what decisions do you make together in family council?  You see if you agree on the value and if you do....then you may decide to establish some rules for maintaining order and cleanliness in your home. You may decide to have "study time" each evening at 7 pm where all family members do homework for school, read a book, or watch an educational video together. You make those decisions to do those things to GIVE LIFE  to your valuing of order, organization, and planning.  You make decisions to do some of those things and you like what you see happening in your family.
AND THOSE THINGS ARE HAPPENING BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEAR ON YOUR FAMILY/PERSONAL VALUES.  You are willing to work together to make decisions on how you will live so that you are true to those values.

This whole topic is a great one to teach in your family or use in your personal life.  Discuss it in family councils and make your decisions. Implement them.  Evaluate the outcomes over time. Make adjustments as needed.

I hope this idea shows the relationship between VALUES and DECISION MAKING.  It is a very important relationship. Have a nice day. Jim